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Tuesday, July 31, 2007


The injectables come via mail from the pharmacy. I was told to wait home from 12pm-5pm so that FedEx could deliver the package, as it needed to be refridgerated and they would not leave it on the doorstep. I waited home all day long and went to do some laundry for about 5 minutes and apparently that is when the FedEx guy came - I guess I didn't hear him over the sound of the washer filling up. So then I had to wait (according to the note he left) until after 5:15pm so I could go pick it up. The directions I had were all wrong, so after being lost in rush hour traffic for who knows how long, I called the 800 number and was put on hold and transfered and finally talked to a person who gave me directions. Once I arrived, I was told FedEx does not refridgerate anything ever, they don't have cold storage. Thankfully, the pharmacy packed the meds with an ice pack and i was able to get them home and into the fridge.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Test Results

My doctor just called to tell me I tested positive again for the bacterial beta strip in my vaginal vault so i will be on anti-biotics for the 3rd round to try to get rid of this stuff, if this round of anti-biotics doesn't get rid of it, then i will be considered a carrier and they will have to treat me with anti-biotics during delivery so the baby doesn't get infected.

50 big ones

I went to the Longs Drugs near my house to buy some more of the fertility monitor test sticks because i used the last one today and the store didn't have any again, this is the 3rd time. I asked when they would be getting some in, and no one seemed to know, then some girl came over and had me fill out paperwork to special order some, so i did, then her co-worker came over and said you can't special order that item, so the first girl thru all the paperwork i had just filled out into the garbage. then some lady came over and she kept scratching her crotch, it was so distracting i could barely listen to her say that she had no idea what test sticks were. then a 4th lady came over and said she would look in the computer and she looked for about 20 minutes and then came back over to me and said the sticks would arrive tomorrow or the next day, ugh, i need them for tomorrow morning! So i had to drive all the way to Wal-Greens and thankfully they had them. I hate that 30 sticks cost $50 and with my long cycles I have to use about a box every cycle.

Friday, July 20, 2007


I had my appointment this morning at the Fertility Center to learn how to give myself the shots in the stomach since the other treatments are not working. The shots will come unassembled and I will put them together into a pen-like utensil sort of like an epi-pen. I will give myself the shots everyday in the belly button area for up to 20 days depending on several variables, such as the dosage and my egg's growth cycle (the cost of the medication increases each time the dosage increases, the financial adviser we met with gave us a ballpark estimate of $3000). I start the shots on cycle day 2. I am currently on cycle day 20. I will have to make daily or every other day visits to the Fertility Center for monitoring and vaginal ultrasounds and blood draws. When my eggs do what they are supposed to, Hub makes a donation which is "washed" meaning they take out the slow, mal-formed sperm as well as some certain liquids and other stuff and then do an IUI which stands for Intra-Uterine-Insemination. This means they take the semen and use a long utensil to insert the semen into my uterus which gives the semen a quicker journey to the egg area. I was told there is a 30% chance this will make me pregnant. I thought I was told 90% at my last appointment, but I guess I misunderstood. If I don't get pregnant, they will increase my dosage and we can try up to a total of 3 times before they recommend IVF (in-vetro-fertilization, which is where they put the eggs and semen in a test tube and fertilize it and then stick it in my uterus - this is considered a surgery where i am put to sleep) If I do get pregnant, there is a 20% chance of multiples. After all this I was crying and once I stopped crying we went to Denny's and of course, our waitress was pregnant which made me cry again, so I went into the bathroom to cry for a while, then I washed my face and at my moon-over-my-hammy. Please pray for us!

Sunday, July 15, 2007


It’s cycle day 15 and I’m still not ovulating, even with all this mediation. The doctor said my eggs are only at 8mm, they should be at 20mm by now. They made me an appointment for this Friday with a nurse to learn how to give myself the injections (they will be once or twice a day for up to 20 days). Then after that I have to meet with the financial planner lady because apparently the shots are going to cost between $2780 and $3180 depending on the dosage they start me on. There is a 90% success rate for people like me who are younger but for whom the chlomid/estrogene/dexamethasone didn’t work. If you know of anyone who hasn’t seen my site, please send them the URL, http://GiftOfHope.itgo.com

I am trying to think of something positive amongst all the negativity. I always imagined having my baby with an April or May birthday, and if the shots work during the first round, I will get that wish! If not, we do another round with a higher dose of medication which means another $3000, ugh. And if we decide we want 2 children, we get to do this all over again. I guess at least we will know the routine and not have to do all the guess work all over again. *sigh*

EEK! (and I don't mean the cat)

This medication has enhanced my sense of smell. I can smell everything to the point of almost being able to taste it and let me tell you, most of the world smells disgusting!!! Febreze is my new best friend, I spray it several times a day in my car and where ever I happen to be. Last night this horrible smell was coming from the drain, so I sprayed the drain. P U!

I also have been having the worst nightmares! The one last night was about penguins stabbing themselves with pointy chopsticks, I’ll spare you the rest of the gory details – eek!

Monday, July 9, 2007

The Next Round... DING!

Its day 9 of the medication. I’ve become over-emotional to where I cry at Kleenex and pet food commercials. My speech center doesn’t seem to be firing 100% anymore either, I have a B.A. in English and its beyond frustrating for me not to be able to speak properly no less coherently.

On a positive note, I got a henna fertility prayer tattooed on my leg, don’t worry, it only lasts for 2 weeks or so, but is very pretty and reminds me that it isn’t just me who has troubles with fertility, these troubles span all races, creeds, and abilities. It really freaked out my FIL who thought it was a real tattoo, lol! Thanks to Kellie for going with me and getting a henna tattoo of her own! :)

Tuesday, July 3, 2007

Here we go again

It's that time again, I get to start taking the pills again. Three times the clomid, three times the estrogen, three times the dexamethazone, and a shot of the peptide hormone. I'm glad to be on "track" again but at the same time, I don't like taking so much medication. It kinda screws with my moods and emotions, and poor Hub seems to be the recipient of much of my madness. Hopefully the medication will work this time around, I'm really not looking forward to having to give myself shots in the stomach.

The odd thing is, I felt like the last round of medication was finally leaving my system, all I had left to work on was my anger displacement and I was going to be back to “normal.” I just have to remember the ultimate goal, Evie (or Eric) is worth the sacrifice, I would do anything for my children!

Sunday, July 1, 2007


My belly-button incision is healing nicely, the part that looked like a piercing has closed up, but it’s still red and raised. The lower incision has started to scab over from my previous mishap – hooray!

Another bill came yesterday, $800 for the anesthesiologist!!! Don’t get me wrong, I was happy to be anesthetized while various parts of my body were being cut into, but I had no clue how expensive it was! Having surgery is not like buying anything else in life, there are no price tags and you don’t get to decide what you want to purchase. It’s like sleep-shopping, you wake up and realize you have spent a lot of money but you don’t know how much or on what! I can’t wait to see how much having a baby costs! YIKES!!!